My name is Ronnie D.

Overheard

The guy in the booth next to me at the suburban cafe where I have to whore myself out for internet is talking to his female friend. She is telling him how much she loves bacon. Like really good bacon.

She is also telling him how he “wants the hottest girl in the world” - to which he replied, “I don’t want the hottest girl, I just want a really hot girl.”

I get two - ok, maybe three - things from this: 1) she wants him 2) they probably actually do it on a semi-regular basis and 3) her talk about bacon is really her hitting on him as all men love bacon and a woman who also loves bacon. Like really good bacon…

I’m also considering going over there and laying myself across his table in my chucks and my cat hair covered shirt and seductively telling him that his wish has come true.